Shut the Door: Mindfulness Activity

Shut the Door Houses decorated with Washi Tape

I created this craft to help me “put away” repeating thoughts. This craft helps me manage my obsessive thoughts about my adult daughter. Since making this, I have been successful 90% of the time, “leaving the thoughts in the house”. I remind myself that I “put that in the house”, look at it or visualize it, and move on.

There are always triggers. I don’t expect obsessive thought pattern to go away within a day or few months of this practice.


instructions below:



Sarcastic Saturday

PS came up with a craft to 8ncrease mindfulness by shutting door on obsessive thoughts. Hope to have post done next week. It’s a cool craft.

I’ve been busy packing up my home daycare. Involves rearranging the house also. I’m not reacting 100% to the disorganization. Instead of anxiey I’m getting migraines. The one bright spot is I found a friend to give some of the cooler stuff to! Their family is adopting children she had been watching as the mom took off. Our town is economically repressed with high abuse rates, and few foster care homes. I don’t need my girl stuff as I will only have the boys to visit during school breaks. I didn’t want to take it to Goodwill so I could contribute to the CEO’s annual bonus. I’m so thrilled to pass on giodness I can’t express! Differences ate made in small ways! I have the boys next week then I start at Head start proudly serving underpriveliged families. It’s taken me 8 years to get to a “good job”. I am allowing myself pats on the back. I was not always strong but I didn’t give up. More like limping across the finish line haha.

On a side note the Portland Proud Boys vs Antifa thing scheduled on 8/17 bothers me. The daughter who hates me us a hardcore punk previously involved, last year she had her own hashtag & was on national news. Anger is beneficial is used productively. I have. Experience protesting in my 20s. The 90s and no internet so no social media power. But we were peaceful. My adage is if I feel strongly then I DO, not TALK.

My conviction is violence solves NOTHING. How is Antifa any different then Rude Boys on the OUTSIDE?

I walk what I speak. POC weren’t in this town until the 90’s I was told. I grew up in Fresno so never identified as a color. Until I moved here & white folks started speaking racist to me and I have verbally called them on the spot. The n word is still used here. I’m waiting for someone to say something when I’m with the boys I will come unglued.

And I was raised in a racist family however I knew from the age of 5 it was wrong. There is NO excuse.

As a mother I’m worried because my daughter gets in fight because if what she says on social media. Ok she blocked me but I’m her mother I’m not stupid I know how to get around it so I know she’s o.k. If she grew up where I did she’d not get away with stuff. That said social media has turned the younger generation into brats. Yes I’m old. She now has a corner web tatt on each side of her hairline above her forehead so forgive me for my sarcasm. Honestly because I was in Seattle during the grunge movement I got a tatt. On my wrist and when I moved back to Fresno I had to cover it for work. I drew it tribal style, lotus flower.

Lotus flowers, here we have a species called Wocus that are revered by the Tribe here, only grow in mud. They are beauty as a result if ugly, it’s rising above. That’s how I wanted to be at 26 and still.

It’s a struggle to focus on the beautiful, as a deep sensitive (hsp) person in this ugly ass culture. My daughter and I are similar, but I’ve never embraced hate or anger, though I’ve struggled with the latter. The real fight is with ourselves.

If you hav read all if this, let me know, it gives me hope. If you disagree I’m happy to exchange productive dialogue.

Current Mood Below:

Taken by someone, after an American riot years ago.

3 kinds of red foxes! Unbelievable!

The most funnest to hang out with

Best creative use of Barbie

Best does grow on trees

Mindfulness My Way, Do It YOUR Way

Mindfulness my way do it your way
Mindfulness my way do it your way

Ola Dudes! Mindfulness is a Buddhist- then Self Help-New Age-then self help regurgitated- “new” practice because its backed up by neurological studies. 1. I’m 52, I’ve dabbled in all the trends. 2. My son was diagnosed ADHD, and he is more then that, we were on the curve of technology confirming mental illness is a biological thing. I remember when people believed it was “diet” (although we didn’t eat food dyes, red40 was awful), or “parenting”. 3. Psychology Today magazine published this on its cover, I remember CLEARLY.

Yes there is still ignorance out there but it’s better then it was. As an advocate for my son, I had to learn every thing about meds and neurology, the best I could as a layperson. The key is understanding how the brain works.

Not one “treatment” fits all. Our brains are unique and amazing. We have lots of technology but still don’t know what causes epilepsy or how to cure it. It’s been around forever, it’s a brain thing.

So I’m not going to meditate it’s boring. I’m not going to the gym, its boring.

Hairy Woodpecker, on left side of fruit tree trunk in my backyard.

I do it my way. not trying to put the square peg in the round hole! I don’t even know where the dam holes are!

Backyard Bird watching is my meditation, and mindfulness practice. We also go birdwatching because our area has lots of rare or unusually seen birds migrating through it. Including seeing bald eagles, on a regular basis. I have had a hawk twice land in my yard.

find the small joy. repeat.

Find the young Pacific Tree Frogs, Notice camouflage differences.

There is a canal at the end of my dead end street. It is frog city . We have observed hundreds of tadpoles, then they became froglets in different stages of growing legs, and now they are froglets. It has been an AMAZING process to watch.

Even in Oregon, (remember I live in the dry part AKA NOT Portlandia-opposite side of state) frogs are diminishing in number because their habitats are disappearing. My Neighbor cuts down the foliage along the canal on our side for bug control. However, he leaves some for the habitat.

I struggle in winter.

Last year our summer was nonexistent, we limited time outside due to smoke. Then, in froze early-October. Then it was snow and ice and snow and ice until April. That was one of our longer winters. Sometimes it’s cold all winter, sometimes it freezes less but more snow. Usually we are the sunniest place in Oregon, cold and sun. However last winter I really struggled with suicidal thoughts and I increased my meds on my own, to get through that time. I have since returned to my regular dose. I am not going to walk on the icy road and slip , for example. It’s the holidays (no family-don’t ask=toxic & empty nest), its the weather, it’s my husband is gone a lot on OT for snow and ice removal at the college grounds.

In future I will write some lifestyle changes I have made to help manage my anxiety. The practices I’m working on currently are to prepare for winter.

Finally let’s not underestimate the critters.

I got this in text. He was on the table trying to open the treat bag, then looked to Dad for help. If you are busted, make it work for you!

House sit, OR does your shelter have a petting area-ours is no kill and has for cats. OR can you borrow a friends dog to walk? Or go to a pet shop? OR get a fish?

(okay i admit, i wanted an excuse to show off one of my doggo’s . lol) Remember, …….your style, IS the new black.

Awkward is the New Black: Anxiety and Shopping

Awkward and the New Black

A) Trigger: Clearance and Coupon

B) Trigger: Employee with no expression

C) Trigger: Work Clothes Choices so I don’t look like an old lady, a potato, or like I’m try ing too hard.

The Employee– compliment her beautiful skin tone, no change in expression, she leads me to eyebrow powder. Later when I go to pay I try to go to the friendly employee but my turn is the original one. Solution: Embrace my awkwardness and get through it.

Clearance/Coupon: The deal is buy 1 -get 2 free. Also I have a $10 off coupon. I only choose up to my budget just in case there are exceptions or hidden costs. I decide to err on the side of caution because I don’t want to appear as if I don’t know , or pay more then I want, when I cash out. When I went to pay, I had to go get 2 more free items.

Choices: It’s so complicated! Feels complicated! Besides basic fit casual- professional – (52 yo headstart assistant teacher in a tiny rural town) : It takes forever to go through my mental checklists.

Awkward is the new black
Awkward is the new black
Awkward is the new black
Awkward is the new black

-Choose pants first

  • NOT plain jeans
  • NOT more then 20$
  • NOT light colored
  • STRECHY kinda
  • NOT wrinkly
  • NOT summer cloth
  • NOT winter cloth
  • seasonally neutral colors
  • fitted
  • not stretch pants
Awkward is the new black
Awkward is the new black

FORWARD MATEY’S, now for shirts.

-NOT low cut, not round neck, not light colored, not pastel, not tshirt, no fussy sleeves, not too loose or tight, not hippie, not plain, not boring, not trend, doesn’t wrinkle easy, not too conservative, not over 12.99$. I find 3 floral-ish shirts to match. Decide floral will be my workstyle theme. (Idk why I need a theme for my clothes )

Awkward is the new black
Awkward is the new black

I have been flying my awkward flag, instead of focusing on covering it up as in the past. (Honestly I believe it comes from my daughter and ex ridiculing me years ago)

When I returned to pay, THE EMPLOYEE wasn’t available so I got to pay the SMILEY GIRL. The customer after me commented on my cute shirt choice, I guess she didn’t notice I was clothed in Awkwardness. Kindred Frugalista.

ME:1 VS pANIC ATTACK:0. (missions accomplished)