Sarcastic Saturday

PS came up with a craft to 8ncrease mindfulness by shutting door on obsessive thoughts. Hope to have post done next week. It’s a cool craft.

I’ve been busy packing up my home daycare. Involves rearranging the house also. I’m not reacting 100% to the disorganization. Instead of anxiey I’m getting migraines. The one bright spot is I found a friend to give some of the cooler stuff to! Their family is adopting children she had been watching as the mom took off. Our town is economically repressed with high abuse rates, and few foster care homes. I don’t need my girl stuff as I will only have the boys to visit during school breaks. I didn’t want to take it to Goodwill so I could contribute to the CEO’s annual bonus. I’m so thrilled to pass on giodness I can’t express! Differences ate made in small ways! I have the boys next week then I start at Head start proudly serving underpriveliged families. It’s taken me 8 years to get to a “good job”. I am allowing myself pats on the back. I was not always strong but I didn’t give up. More like limping across the finish line haha.

On a side note the Portland Proud Boys vs Antifa thing scheduled on 8/17 bothers me. The daughter who hates me us a hardcore punk previously involved, last year she had her own hashtag & was on national news. Anger is beneficial is used productively. I have. Experience protesting in my 20s. The 90s and no internet so no social media power. But we were peaceful. My adage is if I feel strongly then I DO, not TALK.

My conviction is violence solves NOTHING. How is Antifa any different then Rude Boys on the OUTSIDE?

I walk what I speak. POC weren’t in this town until the 90’s I was told. I grew up in Fresno so never identified as a color. Until I moved here & white folks started speaking racist to me and I have verbally called them on the spot. The n word is still used here. I’m waiting for someone to say something when I’m with the boys I will come unglued.

And I was raised in a racist family however I knew from the age of 5 it was wrong. There is NO excuse.

As a mother I’m worried because my daughter gets in fight because if what she says on social media. Ok she blocked me but I’m her mother I’m not stupid I know how to get around it so I know she’s o.k. If she grew up where I did she’d not get away with stuff. That said social media has turned the younger generation into brats. Yes I’m old. She now has a corner web tatt on each side of her hairline above her forehead so forgive me for my sarcasm. Honestly because I was in Seattle during the grunge movement I got a tatt. On my wrist and when I moved back to Fresno I had to cover it for work. I drew it tribal style, lotus flower.

Lotus flowers, here we have a species called Wocus that are revered by the Tribe here, only grow in mud. They are beauty as a result if ugly, it’s rising above. That’s how I wanted to be at 26 and still.

It’s a struggle to focus on the beautiful, as a deep sensitive (hsp) person in this ugly ass culture. My daughter and I are similar, but I’ve never embraced hate or anger, though I’ve struggled with the latter. The real fight is with ourselves.

If you hav read all if this, let me know, it gives me hope. If you disagree I’m happy to exchange productive dialogue.

Current Mood Below:

Taken by someone, after an American riot years ago.

3 kinds of red foxes! Unbelievable!

The most funnest to hang out with

Best creative use of Barbie

Best does grow on trees

Mindfulness My Way, Do It YOUR Way

Mindfulness my way do it your way
Mindfulness my way do it your way

Ola Dudes! Mindfulness is a Buddhist- then Self Help-New Age-then self help regurgitated- “new” practice because its backed up by neurological studies. 1. I’m 52, I’ve dabbled in all the trends. 2. My son was diagnosed ADHD, and he is more then that, we were on the curve of technology confirming mental illness is a biological thing. I remember when people believed it was “diet” (although we didn’t eat food dyes, red40 was awful), or “parenting”. 3. Psychology Today magazine published this on its cover, I remember CLEARLY.

Yes there is still ignorance out there but it’s better then it was. As an advocate for my son, I had to learn every thing about meds and neurology, the best I could as a layperson. The key is understanding how the brain works.

Not one “treatment” fits all. Our brains are unique and amazing. We have lots of technology but still don’t know what causes epilepsy or how to cure it. It’s been around forever, it’s a brain thing.

So I’m not going to meditate it’s boring. I’m not going to the gym, its boring.

Hairy Woodpecker, on left side of fruit tree trunk in my backyard.

I do it my way. not trying to put the square peg in the round hole! I don’t even know where the dam holes are!

Backyard Bird watching is my meditation, and mindfulness practice. We also go birdwatching because our area has lots of rare or unusually seen birds migrating through it. Including seeing bald eagles, on a regular basis. I have had a hawk twice land in my yard.

find the small joy. repeat.

Find the young Pacific Tree Frogs, Notice camouflage differences.

There is a canal at the end of my dead end street. It is frog city . We have observed hundreds of tadpoles, then they became froglets in different stages of growing legs, and now they are froglets. It has been an AMAZING process to watch.

Even in Oregon, (remember I live in the dry part AKA NOT Portlandia-opposite side of state) frogs are diminishing in number because their habitats are disappearing. My Neighbor cuts down the foliage along the canal on our side for bug control. However, he leaves some for the habitat.

I struggle in winter.

Last year our summer was nonexistent, we limited time outside due to smoke. Then, in froze early-October. Then it was snow and ice and snow and ice until April. That was one of our longer winters. Sometimes it’s cold all winter, sometimes it freezes less but more snow. Usually we are the sunniest place in Oregon, cold and sun. However last winter I really struggled with suicidal thoughts and I increased my meds on my own, to get through that time. I have since returned to my regular dose. I am not going to walk on the icy road and slip , for example. It’s the holidays (no family-don’t ask=toxic & empty nest), its the weather, it’s my husband is gone a lot on OT for snow and ice removal at the college grounds.

In future I will write some lifestyle changes I have made to help manage my anxiety. The practices I’m working on currently are to prepare for winter.

Finally let’s not underestimate the critters.

I got this in text. He was on the table trying to open the treat bag, then looked to Dad for help. If you are busted, make it work for you!

House sit, OR does your shelter have a petting area-ours is no kill and has for cats. OR can you borrow a friends dog to walk? Or go to a pet shop? OR get a fish?

(okay i admit, i wanted an excuse to show off one of my doggo’s . lol) Remember, …….your style, IS the new black.

Increasing Mindfulness as a Craft Ninja: bookmark for mindfulness

The main purpose of this blog is to focus on increasing mindfulness. To change mindset to “increasing mindfulness” vs. “decreasing anxiety”, as part of identity. Since switching, I have noticed increased positivity. An unforeseen side effect of calling myself names= recording OVER those old tapes from others that I inhaled as part of my identity. I pursue mindfulness. I donate my crafted bookmarks to the library. I have a stable mindset. I create.

Creating a post isn’t mindful haha, but it is satisfying. If /when anyone tries these, let me know if effective. thanks!


Adult coloring page, Elmer’s glue, Paper, coloring tools, scissors, contact paper.

Ideally cardstock is best, but I have been using bond paper. Also, if using cardstock, then covering with contact paper may not be necessary . You can get as crazy as you want with paper types.

Use colored pencils, crayons, markers, whatever for your coloring page.

Google “free adult coloring page” and one can be printed off so buying a book isn’t necessary.

For mindfulness purposes-don’t fall into my OCD trap. IE I still am tempted to go and buy the largest pack of Sharpies in ALL the colors. Or sticky glitter paper.

For mindfulness purposes: To increase mindfulness, the craft is done with the repetition of step. So, one day I do step one, step one, step one, step one, step one. Cutting only. The next day I do, step two, step two, step two, step two, step two. Coloring only. So on with each Step.

One side of bookmark made for mindfulness

PREPARATION: Decide how many book marks you want to make in total. Gather supplies. Put on what you want to listen to, if anything. Find a clean, quiet space. Even a TV Tray will do.


Cut plain paper into bookmark template.

( Mine vary in size b/c I was given scraps. Mine are approx 5×2″, or 2×3″. Honestly I don’t think people care what size it is. Cut the size YOU like)


Cut adult coloring page into pieces that are 2 inches bigger then template. When cutting-THIS is a fun part- keep mindful of how the design looks AS A SEPARATE PIECE.

STEP THREE: color page pieces. Since 2 templates are needed for each bookmark, you can choose to color “pairs” that are complementary, identical, themed or totally different. THIS is a fun part.

STEP FOUR: Choose pairs and glue together.

Glueing colored flower piece onto template

STEP FIVE: Cover with contact paper if desired. I have experience with contact paper and find this to be a royal pain so if at all possible, don’t USE IT. (I have made about 20 of these bookmarks and because I’m donating I want them to be a bit nice looking.)

remember, IF this is done steps 1,2,3,4,5 without the repetition its not mindful. its just crafting.

Excitement =anxiety=excitement

We are going camping with friends. I haven’t been for many years. I haven’t even taken an overnight trip for over 3 years.

This is because the preparation caused my anxiety to go off the scale. This morning my body feels like it has no skin. I am excited mentally. My mind is like a race horse pulling at the bit, trying to take off.

My challenge will be not to snap at my husband, or the angel boys we take care if til 4.

I have my med appt, my fingerprints for new job & taking boys to library for bingo and lunch. All low stress activities.

I’m going to practice my practices:

Writing here

Listening to daily audio bible


Awareness of self

Asking for mercy to soothe my nerves

This area if Oregon is remote & plumb in the middle of relatively untouched forests,rivers,narshes etc. We are camping at a non tourist lake area.

For example we walked by a deer on my street the other day.

I’m excited to:

Walk with my doggies

Get in water

See new perching birds





Camping is the only time I relax 100%. I used to do it all the time. It’s vital after long winter.

I’m excited to go and, overcome a slight challenge. Baby steps.

What do you like to do that can be a challenge?

Good news & delays

Good news: offered a position which is higher then the one I applied for!

Delay: waiting for official letter. Head START closed this week. Still have my 2 daycare kids whom I adore! 4 &5 yo boys.

Challenge: bc of waiting my mind going in circles.

Action? I need to figure out how to craft miniature doors for symbolic representation of closing door on 4 family members. I keep texting every few months & need to give up.

I know my detachment disorder contributes to anxiety. It just occurred to me I have attached trying to “fix” a plug in the wrong outlet, thru my life.

I have a great marriage & healthy life but I need to work thru this so I don’t get stuck mentally. Bc THIS issue gets triggered ALOT!

I hope this sharing helps someone else!

What are your triggers?

Also do you have one of these? She’s the reason I didn’t get a craft posted yesterday! Ha! Sparrow is a rescue.